Only One Card In March of the Machine Will Use Poison Counters

Introduction

Poison is a highly contentious MTG mechanic. Poison has the potential to end games radically quickly, especially in formats like Commander where only 10 Poison counters need to be distributed, compared to the comparatively higher life total of 40 each player has. Poison is, however, a mechanic that is heavily thematically tied into the Phyrexians. In Scars of Mirrodin block, many Phyrexian creatures used the “Infect” mechanic to spread Poison and -1/-1 counters around, representing how they were corrupting the world of Mirrodin. In Phyrexia: All Will Be One, the Phyrexians instead used the mechanic “Toxic” to deal out a handful of Poison counters alongside the regular damage they inflict. It is perhaps somewhat surprising then that it has been confirmed that only a single card in March of the Machine will distribute Poison counters, Etali, Primal Sickness Etali, Primal Sickness Trample
When Etali enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery. .

All About Etali

Etali is a primordial dinosaur from the Mesoamerican-themed plane of Ixalan. Etali’s first printing, Etali, Primal Storm Etali, Primal Storm Whenever Etali attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs. , from the 2018 set Rivals of Ixalan is a staple of Red Commander decks and has been reprinted a huge number of times. Etali returns in March of the Machine initially in the form of Etali, Primal Conqueror Etali, Primal Conqueror Trample
When Etali enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery. , before becoming corrupted and transforming into Etali, Primal Sickness Etali, Primal Sickness Trample
When Etali enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery. .

This card is part of a cycle of Legendary creatures from the past who get compleated, and gain an additional color during the Phyrexian invasion. Other cards in this cycle include: Heliod, the Warped Eclipse Heliod, the Warped Eclipse When Heliod enters, return target enchantment card that isn't a God from your graveyard to your hand.
{3}{U/P}: Transform Heliod. Activate only as a sorcery. ({U/P} can be paid with either {U} or 2 life.) , and Ayara, Furnace Queen Ayara, Furnace Queen {T}, Sacrifice another creature or artifact: Ayara deals X damage to target opponent or battle and you gain X life, where X is the sacrificed permanent's mana value.
{5}{R/P}: Transform Ayara. Activate only as a sorcery. ({R/P} can be paid with either {R} or 2 life.) .

Etali is a seven mana 7/7 with Trample. When it enters play, it exiles cards from each player in the game’s deck until a non-land card is exiled. Etali then allows its controller to cast each of these cards without paying their mana cost. For 10 mana, one of which is Phyrexian-Green, Etali can be transformed into its reverse side which is an 11/11 Indestructible Trampler that distributes Poison counters to players equal to the damage it deals to them. We have briefly covered this card in one of our other pieces, but to summarise Etali is a big, splashy, and exciting card, although it’s too expensive to be used in formats outside of Commander and Limited except for as a Transmogrify or an Indomitable Creativity Indomitable Creativity Destroy X target artifacts and/or creatures. For each permanent destroyed this way, its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until an artifact or creature card is revealed and exiles that card. Those players put the exiled cards onto the battlefield, then shuffle. target. Even in those instances there are better cards to use for this purpose, like Archon of Cruelty Archon of Cruelty Flying
Whenever this creature enters or attacks, target opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker of their choice, discards a card, and loses 3 life. You draw a card and gain 3 life. and Worldspine Wurm Worldspine Wurm Trample
When this creature dies, create three 5/5 green Wurm creature tokens with trample.
When Worldspine Wurm is put into a graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it into its owner's library. .

In Commander, however, where games are slower paced and more focussed on big plays, Etali, Primal Conqueror Etali, Primal Conqueror Trample
When Etali enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery. fits right in. The card makes for a very fun win condition that can also go in the Command Zone.

Etali in Commander

If you build a deck with Etali as your Commander, you will want to ensure you use all of the ramp tools available in Green to get up to seven mana as quickly as possible so you can bring out your big Dinosaur. While having Etali in the Command Zone is convenient, you will possibly be painting a giant target on your back, due to the unpopularity of the Poison mechanic in the format. It may be better to conceal Etali within your deck in order to prevent this. Etali fits nicely into Gishath, Sun’s Avatar Gishath, Sun’s Avatar Vigilance, trample, haste
Whenever Gishath deals combat damage to a player, reveal that many cards from the top of your library. Put any number of Dinosaur creature cards from among them onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. Dinosaur Tribal decks and makes a nice top-end threat for Commanders like Raggadragga, Goreguts Boss Raggadragga, Goreguts Boss Each creature you control with a mana ability gets +2/+2.
Whenever a creature you control with a mana ability attacks, untap it.
Whenever you cast a spell, if at least seven mana was spent to cast it, untap target creature. It gets +7/+7 and gains trample until end of turn. and Jolene, the Plunder Queen Jolene, the Plunder Queen Whenever a player attacks one or more of your opponents, that attacking player creates a Treasure token.
If you would create one or more Treasure tokens, instead create those tokens plus an additional Treasure token.
Sacrifice five Treasures: Put five +1/+1 counters on Jolene. .

Putting Etali in a deck featuring White or Blue also provides access to all of the flicker effects in those colors like Essence Flux Essence Flux Exile target creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control. If it's a Spirit, put a +1/+1 counter on it. and Ephemerate. Etali appreciates access to flickering spells both because they provide a way of protecting it from being destroyed and because they enable its powerful ETB effect that casts cards for free to be recurred. Strionic Resonater is another way of getting multiple instances of this effect.

Community Thoughts

The community seems to be in love with Etali, although they are less than convinced that this corrupted Dinosaur is a viable card.

Several threads on Reddit have been dedicated to discussing Etali, Primal Conqueror Etali, Primal Conqueror Trample
When Etali enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery. .

trbopwr11 writes: “It’s dumb and completely over the top and I want it for Xenagos anyway.”

Lurkerino_o writes: “This will most likely end up in the meme tier, but I love it already lol.

Good job figuring this out, gonna give it a try for sure!”

Craftygoblin warns against actually trying to transform Etali, writing: “It certainly seems like it will rarely be a good idea trying to activate the transform ability. Spending 9 or 10 mana only to get blown out by instant speed removal sounds awful.”

Conclusion

Even though Poison counters are a less than popular mechanic, this angry Phyrexianised Dino seems to have captured the hearts of the MTG community. As the only card in March of the Machine to distribute Poison counters, Etali is something of an anomaly.

Players have taken to calling the dinosaur a variety of nicknames, including “Colossal Spreadmaw” and “Dreadsteel Colossus“. This shows that even the most contentious mechanics can have fun executions, and be used to make beloved cards.

Read more: 30 Officially Spoiled MTG March of the Machine Cards!